Moving Day

This week’s blog writing music: Whatever by Aimee Mann

I feel compelled to start each blog with that from now on, because music really does inspire me and quite often the album I select has a significance to how I’m feeling at any particular time.

The reality of Apartment Awesome hits me a little more each week. I love not running into every single doorframe I encounter! I’m also a big fan of this ‘dishwasher’ thing-never had one before. The finer points of my apartment are like the icing on an already miraculous cake! I’ve been afforded a safe and accessible place to live, that’s miracle one. The fact that said place is lovely and yes, awesome, still seems unreal to me. I hope I never get used to it!

Flash back to January 2nd. New year, new location! It’s moving day and I am so nervous. Not so much about the change of location but the actual move. I was blessed with the assistance of a great moving company thanks to Bergen County United Way (Thank you!!) and the truck arrived bright and early at nine am. Ok, right there I was already at a disadvantage because I SO don’t do well in the morning. But this was an important day so I did my best to rally. Adding to the confusion was the fact that a medical supply company was coming to pick up my hospital bed and then deliver a different one to the new place. In the grand tradition of delivery personnel, no times had been given for either transaction. Thankfully my old bed was picked up right away and the new bed came to the new place just as I did so that was good luck. I realize moving day is very tiring for everyone but by the end of the day I felt almost delirious from exhaustion. But there I was and there was no turning back because my bed was now here. My mother was getting ready to leave and I was struck by the enormity of the moment. Closing the door behind her was freakishly symbolic of closing the door on my past. Fourteen years with MS, the past six spent in the ill-fitted but familiar walls of my childhood home. Come to think of it, I don’t think there’s ever been a more significant moment in my life since my day of diagnosis. Well there’s been moments that certainly stand out, but none of them are positive.

Next came all the fun and sometimes annoying tasks of address change, setting up utilities, and everyone’s favorite-ordering cable. I won’t say these tasks were easy, they were often nearly impossible because my new address was truly NEW-as in, never before existed. But underscoring each task was the increasing reality of independence. That electric bill that I never had to worry about before? Well, bring on the hardships of more careful financial planning, because it was MINE! When your life has progressed to the point of being dependent on so many for so much it is with absolute Pride to see that electric bill in your name. It was proof positive that the powers-that-be had faith in me, that I was more than just a hanger-on to someone else’s life. This apartment may not technically belong to me, but after many years of feeling like a burden, this place is MINE!